At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
PS: I just woke up from my shower
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize