She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
