so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Randomize
