yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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