So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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