Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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