Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
