the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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