I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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