You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
