There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
