if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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