yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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