He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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