nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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