the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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