I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He better not be in your backpack
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
