OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
