So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Screwed.edu
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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