OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
