it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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