and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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