man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
