Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
