I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
