fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
