By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
