How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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