8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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