Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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