I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
