I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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