he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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