Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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