Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
