I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
