i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
