She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
