I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
