Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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