So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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