My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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