Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
3 2 1 whiskey
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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