arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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