there's paper in my vomit.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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