Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Randomize
