Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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