The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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