He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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