I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Randomize
