I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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