I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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