Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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