he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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