pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
