I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
