Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
