dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
this hospital has no fireball
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
